Happy New Year!!!

I’d like to wish everybody a very happy, healthy, and wealthy New Year’s *Cheers* and thank you for reading my blog!  *Gets Fireworks & Lighter & Yells* HAPPY NEW YEAR *Lights Fireworks* 2011 is going to be the greatest year ever for everyone!!!  *On Knees Praying*

OMG, how could it possibly be any worse than 2010? *Pleading* I haven’t been able to post this month because I was *Gasp* in and out of the *Choke* hospital!  *Sob* My place is still attacking me *Sniffles* and the ambulance attendants dropped me! *Thinks* I’m positive they’ve dropped me before and gave me a concussion and that’s why I don’t remember positively.   *Attempts To Nod Head*

Anyway, they’re much nicer at the rehab center. *Grins* Although, they are torturing me with all this physiotherapy.  *Muffles Laugh* They are letting me get on a computer so I can post this message.  *Hugs Staff* But, they told me I may not see another one in the next few days and to keep it short.  *Glares At Staff*

This is the last post of 2010 and I’d like to thank you for reading and hopefully  *On Knees* in 2011 I’ll be posting on a more regular basis.  <What Bones Do I Have Left In My Body To Brake???  *Thinks*  Nope, I’m pretty sure I broke the last one today.  *Giggles Painfully*> Oh, my New Year’s Resolution should be to give up my addiction to breaking bones.  *Cracks Up Laughing* I’ve actually gotten to the point I’ve lost track of how many bones I broke in 2010!!!  *Smothers Laugh*

Oh well, a new year is about to begin and it can only get better!!! *Positive Expression On Face* HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVERYONE *Tosses Streamers & Pops Champagne* I wish you all a very happy, healthy, and wealthy 2011! *Raises Glass – Cheers – Clinks Glasses*

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Peking Duck…

I’ve been thinking about calling a Priest and having him perform an exorcism on my home, but I’m still not quite over the last time. <*Whispers* To This Day He Still Laughs At Me *Sniffles* & Tarragon Is Still Possessed!!! *Smothers Laughter*> Hmm, perhaps I should try my Rabbi this time around – he likes Tarragon…so far! *Laughs*

I have to do something before my house succeeds in seriously injuring me. *Nods Head* I accepted the fact that my door fell on top of me. <Okay, I Still Have My Doubts, *Crosses Fingers* But Sometimes You Just HAVE To Agree! *Whispers* When You See Them Coming At You With A Straight Jacket – AGREE!!! *Bursts Out Laughing*> What I don’t get is why every time my place attacks me, my head is like a homing pigeon and the object zero’s right in on it.  *Eyes Popped Out* Um, did someone install some sort of device in my head that attracts falling objects??? *Thinks* Nope, that’s no possible – I’d know if they did or would I? *Quivers*

*Yells* BUGS!!! Yup, he had them opportunity, he kept hitting me in the head  knocking me out *Shudders* has lots of needles a-a-and I don’t think he *Sobs* cares for me very much. *Wipes Tears* Oh, wait a minute – it can’t be Bugs *Shakes Head* he saw me after the door attack. *Thinks* Ah, actually he told me I was hit by a door! *Frowns* I’m beginning to think he lied. *Stomps Foot* That’s it Bugs – you are no longer part of my collection of Doctor’s!!! *Kicks Bug’s Butt Out Of Hospital*

That made me feel better, but I still have a problem – why is my home attacking me? *Dazed Expression* Yeah, I thought it might be Tarragon, but he was sitting on my lap when it happened. <*Whispers* Tarragon Would Never Put Himself In Harms Way & I’m The Only One That’s Ever Been Hurt By Him…*Looks At Tarragon & Shakes Head*> Oh, I should tell you what happened *Muffles Laughter* it has a lot to do with DUCK, but not so much the PEKING. <*Whispers* But, If You’re Good I May Be Able To Talk Princess Cilantro Into Sharing Her Recipe! *Yummy*> Hmm, now all I can think of is Peking Duck and why I don’t have one sitting in front of me to eat! *Visualizes Peking Duck* OMG, it worked!!! *Thinks* But am I the only one that can see the the little Peking Duck waving at me from the Moo Shoo Bar? <*Yells* Peking Duck Anyone??? *Listens* Help Yourself There’s Plenty For Everyone. *Stifles Laugh* And I Can Always Visualize More If We Run Out!!! *Smiles*> Um, I guess I should be extremely careful what I visualize now that I know I have this new amazing ability! *Beaming* Okay, while we’re having our Peking Duck I’ll tell you about the horrible think that happened to me. *Sniffles*

I was sitting in my office working on my business, Cilantro was in the window cooing at the birds and Tarragon was having a catnap on my lap – all was going well in “Spiceville” when suddenly it happened!!! *Shakes* A bookshelf and all the hardcover books on it came flying off the bookcase *Trembles* and like guided missiles attacked my head! <*Thump* Ouch! *Thump* Ouch!! *Thump* Ouch!!! *Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump….Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch…*>

Each and everyone of them hit me on the head, knocked my chair off it’s wheels, I went “Kerplunk” on the hardwood floor and that’s the last thing I remember. *Sobs* When I came to again I was in a puddle of blood and Cilantro was there with my cellphone calling 911 for me. *Smiles Sweetly At Cilantro* Yup, they came back again to laugh at me some more! <Um, Why Do I Always Get The Same Attendants??? *Curious* All They Do Is Laugh & Never Tell Me What They Find So Funny! *Mischievous Expression On Face* Oh, I Should Try My New Visualization Powers On Them!!! *Smiles At Thought* But, I Better Wait Until They Put Me Back Together Again. *Snickers*>

*Yells* Excuse me, are you just going to leave me here bleeding all over my books and the floor?  *Listens* Uh, you want to finish the Peking Duck first, *Rolls Eyes* but what if I run out of blood before you run out of Peking Duck??? *Looks At Attendants* You know I’m beginning to feel like Humpty Dumpty and at the rate I’m going soon all the Kings Horses & all The Kings Men aren’t going to be able to put me back together again!!! *Cries* I don’t want to be Humpty Dumpty *Sobs* you might forget to bring all my pieces to put me back together again. *Sniffles* I think I require all my pieces – that’s why I have them in the first place. *Wipes Tears* Oh, but you can keep my brain tumor THAT’S one piece I didn’t come with originally so I don’t need it!!! *Smiles*

All right, I’m ready to go anytime you are, but this time could you buckle me onto the stretcher and don’t drop one end? *Glares At Attendants* The last time I slipped off and you dragged me into the hospital with my head bouncing off the sidewalk before you even noticed. <*Whispers* If You Want More Peking Duck You Better Be Nice To Me – I Can Make It Disappear With A Blink Of My Eye & Turn You Into Pumpkin Pie!!! *Snickers Behind Hand*>

Back at my home away from home – the hospital! *Yells* Hi all, did you miss me? *Listens* You did, it’s so nice to be loved and your not laughing at me either, thanks! *Smiles* Bugs? No, I haven’t seen Bugs *Crosses Fingers* did something happen to him? *Looks Around* Hmm, that’s unfortunate *Muffles Laugh* I know how much he likes to practice his sewing so when my bookshelf attacked me I thought he could hone his skills on my head and this time he wouldn’t have to hit me with his sledge hammer to split it open. *Angelic Smile* Oh well, he’ll have to wait until next time. *Nods Head* Only one shelf of books fell on me, but for some reason I think the rest of the unit is just bidding it’s time before it attacks me too. *Frowns* BTW, does anyone know a Priest who can perform an exorcism on my home – it’s possessed and I’m positive it’s trying to kill me! *Trembles*

*Yells* My heads numb now, will the best seamstress here please stitch it back together before I get too light headed and faint? *Looks At Doctor* Hi, do you have samples of your work I can look at? *Listens* Why??? Well, since it’s my head and I’m bald most of the time I want to ensure I don’t turn out looking like Frankenstein. *Smiles* Oh, perhaps you can embroidery pretty little flowers instead of plain old stitches that would look so much nicer, don’t you think? *Listens* You’re right, it will take a little longer, but look at all the time I saved you from not having to shave my head first. *Smiles Sweetly* And you can use the pictures to start your portfolio. <I Brought My Camera With Me, But Please Don’t Tell  *Pleading Expression* People Here Have A Tendency To Steal My Belongings & Cilantro Will Be Extremely Upset If I Don’t Return With A Camera To Take Her Picture.  *Listens* Yeah, She Is A Princess!!! *Cracks Up Laughing*>

Okay, I’m ready anytime you are, um I’ve been thinking – can you do some vines to connect the flowers? *Listens* That works for me!!! *Grins* I’m going to close my eyes while you work, I don’t like the sight of blood very much especially when it’s mine! *Closes Eyes*

WOW, that was quick I’m done already? *Looks At Doctor* May I go home now?  No, I don’t have a concussion, I just have a horrific headache *Holds Hand Out For Painkillers* and would like to put an icepack on my head and have a catnap. *Yawns* If you’ll give me some painkillers I’ll be on my way. *Looks At Empty Hand* You want me to stay here??? *Shakes Head Vigorously* Uh uh, I am NOT staying here – there’s too many doctors that want to torture me!!! *Body Starts To Tremor* Really, I can’t stay here, I barely made it out alive the last time & I still need to find a Priest to do an exorcism on my home.  *Sighs*

Don’t look at me like that *Glares At Doctor* wouldn’t you do the same if your home was attacking you? *Stares At Doctor* Yes, I’m positive I’m under attack – didn’t you just put 28 stitches in my head. *Listens* Okay but, that was from only one shelf *Quavers* there’s 11 more just waiting for my head to be in the vicinity for them to fall on it.  *Cries*

BTW, you did a fantastic job *Admires Head In Mirror* the flowers, leaves, and vines look so much nicer than the stitches Bugs put in. *Nods Head* Um, did you happen to see a target tattooed on the back of my head??? *Listens* Hmm, I wonder why no one can find that tattoo – it has to be somewhere on my body!!! *Looks At Body*

OMG, it must be in invisible ink and THAT’S why nobody can see it except for inanimate objects, which keep attacking my head. <*Sings* Under Attack, I’m Being Taken, About To Crack, Defenses Breaking, Won’t Somebody Please Have A Heart, Come And Rescue Me Now Cos I’m Falling Apart…> That’s it, I’m NOT going back into my home until I find a Priest to come with me *Gets Hammer & Handcuffs* I’m going to the Chapel & kidnapping a Priest.  *Sticks Hand In Mouth* Oops, I meant I was going to borrow a Priest *Nods Head* I’ll return him as soon as he rids my home of it’s demons. *Sweet Smile* You don’t have to worry if he get tossed out the window *Crosses Fingers* it’s not a far fall, he’ll be fine.  *Grins*

Doc, you get my painkillers, I’ll get the Priest, and we’ll be on our merry little way. *Angelic Smile* Oh, you don’t have to worry *Smiles Behind Hand* I’ll be back – I’m a tad clumsy & I have a cat that like to break my bones too! *Looks At Tarragon* He’s a Certified Therapy Cat and likes to keep busy so you’ll still be seeing me on a weekly basis.  *Smirks*

Uh Doc, could I please have my painkillers *Hold Out Hand* I have the Priest in the trunk of the taxi.  *Eyes Popped* Did I say in the trunk? *Shakes Head Vigorously* Oops, what I meant was he’s in the back seat waiting for me and the taxi driver’s in a rush. *Rolls Eyes* He said he has a headache from all the banging so could I have a couple pills for him too? *Looks At Doctor* Oh, and I’m going to need a taxi chit – they gave me a really hard time the last time when I didn’t have one.  *Nods Head* Thanks!!!  *Radiant Smile*

Got to run, I have an extremely violent poltergeist I have to get rid of before he’s the death of me! <*Whispers To Self* When I Bring The Priest I Stole Into The House I’ll Be Safe *On Knees Praying* & My Blood Thirsty Ghost Will Attack Him *Crosses Fingers* Instead Of Me!!! *Makes Sign Of Cross*>

Oh, the Priest wanted me to let you know if he’s not back <Unless It’s In An Ambulance! *Smothers Laughter*> by the end of the day call for a replacement. *Fingers Crossed* The Pope beckoned him to Vatican City and you know what the Pope wants – the Pope gets!!! <There That Should Take Care Of That! *Muffles Laughter* Now, I Have A Priest Of My Very Own & No One Will Even Know I Even Have Him.  *Heavenly Expression*> Father, please be careful I don’t know where I can find a replacement if I lose you & I think the Pope is going to notice if I keep stealing, oops, I meant borrowing Priests. *Handcuffs Priest To Radiator* I’m doing this for your protection, I don’t want my poltergeist to toss you out the window.  *Nods Head* Yup, that’s my story and I sticking with it!!! *Cracks Up Laughing*

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Breast Cancer Awareness

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month so I thought today I’d talk about a disease I don’t have!!! <Hmm, How Did I Miss This One??? *Looks At Chest* Um, Perhaps They Couldn’t See Them? *Yells* They May Be Really Tiny, But I Do Have A Set!!! *Stomps Foot*> Oh no, why DID I do that??? *Gets Crazy Glue* I already have a target tattooed on me and enough problems with my health without mentioning I missed one!!! *Pulls Foot Out Of Mouth* Ah, wait a minute *Crosses Fingers* I think I may be wrong and I did have Breast Cancer, but it was a long time ago and I forgot!!! *Nods Head* I do believe that’s why they’re so small – you cut off 90% of them! *Sticks Fist In Mouth* BTW, I didn’t have that much to begin with *Sniffles* and now they’re so teeny-weeny I need a magnifying glass to see them. *Sobs* And don’t even get me started on finding a bra to fit them! <*Whispers* Even With A Training Bra I Need A Couple Pairs Of Socks For Stuffing!!! *Confused Look* BTW, Does Anyone Know Why Their Called Training Bras???  *Baffled* Am I Suppose To Train Them??? *Dazed* They Don’t Come With A Training Manual So How DO I Train Them??? *Curious Expression* If You Know How Would You Please Let Me Know? *Begging*> Okay, enough about my breasts or should I say lack of breasts? *Laughs*

When it comes to breast cancer it’s extremely beneficial to be proactive!!!  *Nods Head* Diagnosis at the earliest stage possible is of the utmost importance.  Don’t think it can’t happen to you – breast cancer doesn’t discriminate!  *Shakes Head* No matter how healthy you are, whether you have a healthy diet, don’t smoke, exercise regularly,  etc. you are still at risk. *Sighs*

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with breast cancer, it’s important to understand what you’re dealing with!!! <Whenever I Get A New Disease, Which Tends To Be On A Daily Basis!!! *Frowns* I Always Do As Much Research As Possible, Thus I’m Prepared & Know What To Expect. *Whispers* I Spend A Lot Of Time Doing Research. *Smirks*>


Basic Facts About Breast Cancer:

  • Breast caner is basically an uncontrolled growth of breast cells;
  • Cancer occurs as a result of mutations, or abnormal changes, in the genes responsible for regulating the growth of cells and keeping them healthy;
  • A changed cell has the ability to keep dividing without control or order, producing more cells just like it and forms a tumor;
  • A tumor can be benign, not dangerous to your health, or malignant, which has the potential to be deadly;
  • Benign tumors are not cancerous, they grow slowly, and they don’t spread to other parts of the body;
  • Malignant tumors on the other hand are cancerous;
  • Without treatment malignant cells will spread beyond the original tumor to other parts of the body;
  • Breast cancer usually begins in the cells of the lobules, (The milk-producing glands) or the ducts, (passages that drain milk from the lobules);
  • Breast cancer can also begin in the stromal tissues. (The fatty and fibrous connective tissues of the breast.);
  • Cancerous cells invade nearby healthy breast tissue & travel into underarm lymph nodes and small organs that filter out foreign substances in the body;
  • If cancer cells get into the lymph nodes, they have a pathway into other parts of the body;
  • Breast cancer is caused by a genetic abnormality (A “mistake” in  genetic material.);
  • But, only 5-10% of cancers are due to an abnormality are inherited;
  • Approximately 90% of breast cancer is due to genetic abnormalities;
  • It’s a result of the aging process and  “wear and tear” of life in general.

While there are preventative measures one can do to help the body stay as healthy as possible (Eating a balanced diet, not smoking, exercising, & limiting alcohol.) breast cancer is NOT anyone’s fault. There is no reason to feel guilty, or believe you did something that caused you to develop breast cancer.

Breast Cancer Statistics:

  • About 1 in 8 women in the United States will develop invasive breast cancer in her lifetime;
  • In 2010, an estimated 207,090 cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S.;
  • 1,970 cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in men in 2010. Less than 1% of  breast cancer occur in men;
  • From 1999 to 2006, breast cancer rates in the U.S. decreased by about 2% per year;.
  • About 39,840 women in the U.S. are expected to die in 2010 from breast cancer, but death rates have been decreasing since 1991;
  • The decreases are believed to be the result of treatment advances, earlier detection, and increased awareness;
  • For women breast cancer death rates are higher than those for any other cancer – besides lung cancer;
  • Compared to African American women, white women are more likely to develop breast cancer, but less likely to die of it;
  • In 2010, there are more than 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in the U.S.;
  • A woman’s risk of breast cancer doubles if she has a first-degree relative (Mother, sister, daughter…) who has been diagnosed with breast cancer;
  • 20-30% of women diagnosed with breast cancer have a family history of breast cancer;
  • 70-80% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer;
  • They occur due to genetic abnormalities that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations;
  • The most significant risk factor for breast cancer are gender related (Being a woman.) and age (Growing older).

Okay, now you are familiar with the statistic that state 1 in 8 women will develop  breast cancer. <*Yells* Don’t Panic – I’m NOT Finished Yet!!! > Please don’t misinterpret this to mean on any given day, you or the women you know have a 1-in-8 risk of developing the disease, that’s simply not true. <See – No Reason To Panic!!! *Smiles*>

In reality, approximately 1 in 8 women in the United States or about 12-13 out of every 100 can expect to develop breast cancer over the course of an entire lifetime. <Glad I Live In Canada!!! *Laughs At Self*  Okay, I’m Intentionally Using The USA Stats, After All I Am A Walking Target & So Far I’ve Missed Getting Breast Cancer! *Smothers Laughter*>

Symptoms & Diagnosis:

  • Breast cancer symptoms vary widely – from lumps to swelling to skin changes;
  • Symptoms that are similar to those of breast cancer may be the result of non-cancerous conditions like infection or a cyst;
  • Unfortunately, many forms of breast cancer have no obvious symptoms at all;
  • Breast self examination should be part of your monthly health care routine;
  • Visit your doctor if you experience breast changes immediately;
  • If you’re over 40 or high risk, you should also have an annual  mammogram and physical exam by your doctor;
  • The earlier you’re diagnosed with breast cancer, the better your chances are of beating it.

The process of diagnosis can take weeks and involves many different types of tests. Waiting for you’re results may feel like it takes forever, but it’s well worth the wait and can extend your lifetime. <Early Detection Is A Key Factor!!!!> The uncertainty of not knowing sucks, but it’s much better to be safe than sorry. <It’s Human Nature To Dwell On The Negative Aspect, But If You Can Keep A Positive Attitude, You’ll Discover Time Passes Quickly & You Could Find Out You Were Worrying Over Nothing! *Nods Head*>

Once you receive your results, you’ll have a better understanding of  the “big picture” as it pertains to you.  <Breast Cancer Is NOT One Size Fits All!> This will enable you to make informative decisions and you & your doctor(s) can formulate a treatment plan tailored precisely to suit you. <Oh, A Number Of People Who Have/Had Breast Cancer, With The Best Intentions, Will Want To Share Their Story With You. *Nods Head* Remember Each Person’s Situation Is Different & What They Experienced Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Will Too! *Shakes Head* Don’t Allow Yourself To Get Caught In Their Ordeal, They May Have Your Best Interest At Heart, But YOU Are Different & What Happens To YOU Will Be Too.> If they have a negative influence on you, politely let them know that you only want to focus on the positive.  And while you do appreciate them wanting to share their story, it’s detrimental to YOUR positive attitude. <I Know From Personal Experience How Easy It Is To Be Swayed By Listening To Pessimistic Thinkers. *Sighs* When I Was First Diagnosed With MS (Multiple Sclerosis) I Wanted To Learn More About It So I Started Attending MS Meeting. *Smiles Behind Hand* OMG, What A Mistake – The Next Thing I Knew I Had Every Symptom Anyone Mentioned!!! *Laughs* I Was Looking Around For A Wheelchair To Steal & Trying To Lure A Seeing Eye Dog To Come To Me Before I Went Totally Blind. *Muffles Laugh* Fortunately, Especially For The Woman’s Wheelchair I Was After & The Man’s Seeing Eye Dog, I Recognized What I Was Doing To Myself!!! *Giggles* I Retrieved My Positive Attitude & Left! *Yells* If YOU Can’t Say Anything Positive I Am NOT Coming Back! *Puts Foot Down*> Okay, I know that has nothing to do with breast cancer, but since I don’t have any  experience in that area, I used MS as my example of positive thinking!!! *Bursts Out Laughing*

I do realize it’s difficult to have a positive attitude when you’re dealing with an illness, but it really is exceedingly beneficial to your health and welfare if you can develop one. <If You Have Any Problems Obtaining A Positive Attitude, Let Me Know, I Have An Abundance Of Positivity I’ll Be Happy To Share With You! *Smiles*> Um, this may sound harsh, but if your friends persist in being pessimistic after you’ve informed them you don’t want to hear it, it’s time for you to put your foot down! <*Whispers* If You Have Good Aim Their Head Could Be Under Your Foot When You Put It Down!!! *Laughing* Just Kidding, That Will Only Give Them Something Else To Whine About! *Snickers*>

For more information pertaining to breast cancer, simply check “My Health Links” I’ve added some for your convenience!



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My New Floor Door

Last post I mentioned I’d come down with a new *Gasp* disease – I know,  I know, it’s hard to believe ME catch a disease!!! <Especially A Curable One. *Stifles Laugh*> But, I didn’t have a chance to tell you about my new broken bones. *Snickers* BTW, I didn’t break any bones from my new sport – Bouncing, which I still don’t believe people are meant to do except for lucky me! *Yells* Thanks Murphy if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have any sports I can have fun with.  *Nods Head* Wait a minute, if it wasn’t for you I’d still be able to play the sports of my choice! *Stomps Foot* On the other hand, the sports I used to be involved with were created by other people and I wouldn’t have had the chance to develop my own extreme sports that I can take credit for! *Laughs*

In the past few years I’ve designed numerous new extreme sports, *Pats Self On Back* but so far no one else has tried them. *Sighs* Uh, do you think it’s because they don’t know how to play them and I should write an instruction manual? *Thinks* Yeah, that’s got to be it! *Laughs* Oh, and I better get a patent on them so no one else can take credit for my creations!  <*Whispers* When I First Started Doing Business On The Internet, I Was On  Hundreds Of Different Lists. *Smirks Behind Hand* Sometimes When I Would Email Them, I Started To Notice Some Of Them Were Writing Their Emails In My Unique Style! *Yells At Internet Marketers* Create Your Own Style Of Writing & Stop Stealing Mine!!! *Shakes Finger*  I Write Like This To Be Different NOT For You To Copy! *Glares At  Rip Off Style Stealing Internet Marketers*> I know some people think “Imitation is the sincerest of flattery” (Charles Caleb Colton) but I don’t agree -  it’s stealing and I don’t appreciate people stealing my style. *Pouts* I created it and they’re trying to benefit from it!!! *Yells* If you can’t come up with an original style of your own – you can pay me for using my style! *Holds Out Hand For Money* Okay, if you don’t want to pay me than stop being a copycat or I’ll sic my attack cat Tarragon on you!!! *Muffles Laughter*

My What Sharp Teeth You Have!!!

Um, I got a little off topic there, but I’m back on track now! *Laughs At Self* I’m almost positive this is something that could only happen to me. *Sighs* But, I’m definitely positive it’s because of Murphy *Snarls At Murphy* & the fact I’m blessed! *Rolls Eyes & Laughs*

During my brief career as a bed bug breeder, *Muffles Laugh* I needed to get some rags out of my tool closet, to clean up the bed bugs I had to shoo off my sleeping area! <I Did Tell Them They Were NOT Allowed To Sleep On My Bed, They Had Their Own Incubator I Kindly Supplied For Them!!!  *Laughs Behind Hand*  But, They Took Advantage Of My Generous Nature & Attempted To Take Over My Bed! *Shakes Head*> I already had Murphy, Cilantro, and  Tarragon ruling my life, I refused to let my bed bugs think they could too!!! *Nods Head* So I stomped on them *Giant Grin* to teach them a lesson and demonstrate I was not going to put up with their bad behavior!  *Smiles* Hmm, why is Murphy never under my foot when I stomp it??? *Bewildered Expression*

Any who, that’s when it happened! *Sobs* I opened up the closet door and it fell off it’s hinges and almost turned me into a pancake!!! *Cries* I weigh less then 75 pounds and it was a solid oak door, *Sniffles* which weighs more than I do! *Bursts Into Tears* There wasn’t anyone home to help me <*Tries To Wipe Tears From Eyes* Oh, Now I Can’t Even Reach My Eyes! *Weeps* Thankfully, Princess Cilantro Saw Me & Came To Lick The Tears From My Eyes. *Kisses Cilantro*> I had to wiggle and squiggle my way out from under it!!! *Screaming From Pain*

Here Mom, I'll Lend You A Paw!!!

To add insult to injury, I’m left handed & the door fell on the left side of my body.  *Wails* When I finally managed to squirm my way out from under the door, *Gives Door Evil Eye* I had Cilantro bring me my cellphone and called 911, which I now have on speed dial  thanks to  Murphy! *Frowns At Murphy* The ambulance came to get me <*Whispers* They Don’t Have To Breakdown My Door Anymore – They Know Where I Hide My Spare Key & Can Let Themselves In. *Nods Head* Yeah, They’re Here On A Frequent Basis & I Got Tired Of Having To Have My Door Replaced So Now They Can Let Themselves In. *Stifles Laughter*> and once they finished laughing they brought me to the hospital.

I don’t think it was very nice of them to be laughing when I was in severe pain, *Shakes Head* but they did!!! *Sigh* I don’t know what they found so funny, I asked them to tell me the joke they were laughing at, but they wouldn’t. <Some People Just Don’t Like To Share!!! *Sniffles*> I could have really benefited if they would have told me their joke, it may have gotten my mind off the pain, but they just kept looking at me & laughing. *Sobs*

When we arrived at the hospital, they told everyone there their joke, but I couldn’t hear it ’cause they made me go deaf in my left ear and my right ear was on a pillow, which muffled the sound. *Shakes Head* Everyone there was looking at me and laughing!!! *Yells* Hey Guys, instead of having a laugh fest don’t you think you should be taking care of ME??? *Dazed Look* I think I may be bleeding, not sure where, but I can taste blood in my mouth! *Spits Out Blood* I am in a hospital aren’t I???  You are doctors and nurses, right? *Baffled* Um, you’re not by any chance waiting for me to bleed to death? *Praying* I’m a repeat customer, I’ve been here so often I should now have VIP status after all  the business I’m giving you! <*Mumbles* Bubble Gum Machine Doctors & Nurses Now Too!>

After my blood started dripping on the floor, they decided it was time to take some action. <*Whispers* I Don’t Think They Wanted To Have To Wash The Floor & My Bleeding Was Making A Huge Puddle! *Smiles*> They took me in to examine my injuries and I passed out on them. Teach them to leave me bleeding while they were having fun!  *Covers Smile* When I came to I couldn’t see a thing -  OMG, they made me go blind!!! *Screams* Then someone came into my room and turned the light on. *Phew* What a relief, I’m not blind!  But, why is it so dark???  I’m positive it was light when I came in here???  Okay, what did you do to me???  Why can’t I move???  *Yells* Excuse me, why is no one answering me when I speak? Oh no, did they remove my vocal cords and I only think I’m speaking??? *Quivers* Nope, that can’t be it, I can hear myself, but only in one ear! *Tremors* This is no time to play games!!! *Screams* Someone answer me now, before I get really angry and sic Tarragon on you!!! *Bellows* TARRAGONNNN…

Ah, that’s much better, finally someone is speaking and it’s NOT the tiny little voice in my head. *Giggles* What’s up doc, do you know you look just like Bugs Bunny? Would you like a carrot? Oh, you’d probably prefer Tweedy Bird? *Bursts Out Laughing* What do you mean you don’t think that was funny?  Yes it was or I wouldn’t be laughing!!! *Laughs Hysterically* What drugs???  I don’t do drugs & I don’t drink either so why does this place smells like alcohol. *Sniffs* Was Tarragon into the sauce again??? *Looks At Doctor* Rubbing Alcohol, but Tarragon doesn’t drink Rubbing Alcohol – it could kill him!!!  Alright, now I understand, the Rubbing Alcohol was for me.  Ah, Doc, I don’t believe I’m suppose to drink Rubbing Alcohol either, I’m sure I read on the label “Not To Be Taken Orally”. *Nods Head* I didn’t drink it – that nice to know, but it still doesn’t explain why I smell it!  *Listens* You used it on my head, why? *Quizzical Look* To clean the wound and put stitches in.  Why did you wound my head, did you need practice sewing???  You didn’t – who did??? *Listens* I did, no I don’t think so I’m not self-destructive! *Shakes Head & Yells* Ouch, that hurt – why did you hit my head with a sludge hammer?  Okay, have it your way, *Rolls Eyes* but I know you really did!!!  Could you please tell me why I can’t move???  *Listens* You dislocated my shoulder, broke my upper arm, gave me whiplash, made me go deaf in one ear, and you messed up my upper back on top of splitting my head open, then hitting me with a sludge hammer??? *Glares At Doctor* Could I have a telephone please?  WHY???  I want to call the police and report I’ve been assaulted – that’s why!  *Looks At Doctor* Hold on a second – that doesn’t look like a phone it looks like a-a-a needl…

*Opens Eyes & Looks Around* Ah, where am I? *Moans* Why does my whole body hurt? *Listens* I had an accident?  *Confused Look On Face* What kind of accident, I don’t remember being in an accident.  I was hit by a door? *Rolls Eyes* May I have some of the drugs your taking? *Holds Out Right Hand* You’re NOT on drugs?  Who do you think you’re kidding, you have to be on drugs if you expect me to believe I was hit by a door!!! *Yells At Doctor* People do NOT get hit by doors!!! Oh, it fell of it’s hinges, yeah right! *Smirks* More like someone is this room has come unhinged and it’s not me!!!  *Screams* Stop – hold on a minute, that looks like a needle in your han…

*Opens Eyes Next Morning* OMG, is this nightmare never going to end???  *Pinches Self* Yup, I am awake!!! *Shakes Head* Okay, before Bugs comes back and sticks me with another needle, <He’s Not Even Filling It With The Happy Drugs They All Seem To Be Taking!!! *Sighs* I Deserve Happy Drugs More Then They Do, But  I Guess They Don’t Want Me To Be Happy Too! *Sniffles*> hits me over the head with his sludge hammer,  or experiments with another form of torture on me, I better find a place to hide. *Checks Room For Hiding Spot* Hmm, there is no place for me to hide, *Sobs* perhaps if I’m really quiet I can sneak out of this nuthouse! *Quietly Shimmy’s Down End Of Bed* So far so good, now I just have to get out of this room, get on the elevator, walk out the door and go home where I’m safe! <*Peaks Out Door* Perfect No One’s Around!!! *Tip Toes Down Hallway* I Wish This Hallway Didn’t Spin – I Keep Losing My Balance! *Picks Self Up*  Alright, I Made It To The Elevator *Presses Button* Um, In Case Anyone Saw Me I’m Going To Push All The Buttons *Smiles* Let Them Try To Find Me!!! *Gets Off Elevator On Ground Floor* Made It, Now I Just Have To Walk Out The Door Without Drawing Any Attention To Myself! *Limps Furtively Out Front Door*>

Yes – freedom!!! *Yells* Taxi!!! *Smiles* Thanks for stopping, where do I want to go? Home please! *Looks At Taxi Driver* What home?  Oh, my home – I’m tired and would like to go home now. *Grins* They weren’t very nice to me where I was they kept hurting me and sticking me with needles. *Sighs* Address???  Um, give me a minute – here it is! *Reads Address On Hospital Arm Band* Home at last, thanks!!! *Gets Out Of Taxi & Waves Right Hand* What??? *Listens* I have to pay you?  I don’t think so, the place where you picked me up has to pay you. *Angelic Smile* I don’t have any money, they stole my purse, clothes, cell phone a-a-and tortured me too. *Tears Flowing Down Face* BTW, they told me they have an account with you and I was to have you put it on their account. *Listens* No, they didn’t give me a chit *Crosses Fingers* they ran out. *Nods Head* They wanted me to let you know so you  could drop more off for them. *Angelic Smile* When you drop them off, they’ll sign one for my ride, but please don’t tell them were you dropped me off *Smiles Behind Right Hand* that way you can charge them for the return trip and a drop off fee!!! *Smiles At Taxi Driver* Oh, if you see them coming at you with a needle – RUN!!! *Waves Bye*

*Opens Door* Hmm, I could have sworn I locked the door when I went out – good thing I didn’t, I don’t know where my keys are. *Bewildered* Hi Cilantro and Tarragon, I’m home again. *Pets Cilantro & Tarragon* I’m feeling really tired, lets go lie down and have a little catnap. *Walks Down Hall Sees Door On Floor* Oh, I see you’ve been doing some redecorating while I was away. *Smiles* I really like what you’ve done, now I have a floor door!!!  *Giggles* Your timing couldn’t have worked out better, for some strange reason I’ve developed a phobia to doors! *Cracks Up Laughing*

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I Love My Life – Really I Do!!!

My life has been so exciting *Stifles Laugh* in the last few months I haven’t had much time to work on my computer, *Sighs* which I finally stole back from my Bubble Gum Machine  Doctors! *Crosses Fingers* And they’ve been having lots of fun too, unfortunately at my expense! *Yells* Hey Docs, I know you find me amusing, but don’t you think you could go to an amusement park and play on their roller coaster instead of mine??? *Listens* Oh, they have merry-go-rounds too with nice colored ponies you can ride on. *Angelic Smile* Then you could each have your own pony to ride! <I Don’t Like To Share My Roller Coaster & Merry-Go-Round!!! *Pouts* Their Emotional Ones & I Had To Go Through A Lot To Get Mine! *Nods Head* Now My Doctors Are Trying To Take Them Away From Me!!! *Glares At Doctors*>

Oh, I managed to catch a new disease, but this one isn’t incurable. *Smiles* Yup, lucky me  caught Lyme Disease when a Tick decided to take a bite out of me! *Laughs* The Tick  could have taken a chomp out of Cilantro or Tarragon, but since I’m blessed he choose me! <Hmm, Perhaps I Shouldn’t Have Eaten The Whole Key Lime Pie As A Midnight Snack & Half Of The Other One!  Although, I Am Trying To Gain Weight & The Pies Were  Very Tasty! *Licks Lips*>

OMG, I just thought of something *Quivers* am I going to catch Key and Pie Disease Too??? *Eyes Popped Out* Okay, I don’t believe there is any such thing as Key or Pie Disease – yet, but when you’ve been bestowed with as many blessings as I have, one may have been created specially for me!!! *Looks For Place To Hide*

The Tick must have thought I was very savory *Blushes* he sent a buddy to visit me – Mr. Flea! *Grins* Mr. Flea taught me something I didn’t know! <I Do So Enjoy Learning New Things!!! *Covers Mouth With Hand*> I discovered I’m allergic to Flea bites!!! *Stunned Expression On Face* It was rather interesting watching myself morph from a twig into the Good Year Blimp, but I did get a little nervous when I started to float around the room! <*Grabs Scuba Weight Belt & Screams* Oh No, It Doesn’t Fit Around My Waist Anymore! *Takes Deep Breath* Don’t Panic Just Hold On To It! *Grips Belt With Both Hands*> Ah, that’s better now I’m grounded again. *Smiles* Thanks little voice in my head, I can always count on you to help me out when I need help the most!  *Laughs At Self*

Just when I thought I was finished being bug bait I found out I wasn’t. *Shakes Head* This turned out to be even worse then the Tick and Flea bites! I got infested with BED BUGS!!! *Shivers* OMG, how could I possibly get a bedbug infestation??? *Confused Look* I knew Michael brought the Tick and Flea home from the clinic, <*Stomps Foot* Unfortunately,  Michael’s Head Wasn’t Under My Foot When I Stomped! *Muffles Giggles*> but there weren’t any bed bugs at the clinic. *Baffled*

Then it hit me! <Okay, It Didn’t Really Hit Me, I Heard It On The News. *Sniffles*> One of the health clinic’s I go to for treatment had a bedbug infestation and I picked up a hitch-hiker, um actually it was more like a colony, when I was there. *Sobs* Bed bugs multiply exceeding fast and the little blood suckers were feasting on me!!! *Cries* They never bit anyone else only me! <Hmm, I Must Taste Extremely Yummy If They Only Wanted To Eat Me. *Laughs Behind Hand*> I had bites on top of bites everywhere on my body from my head to my toes!!! *Scratches Bedbug Bites*

Since I had so many bed bugs I considered becoming a bed bug breeder! *Muffles Laugh* But, unfortunately no one wanted to buy any of my bed bugs ’cause they weren’t cute and fluffy! *Sighs* So much for a new career as a bed bug breeder.  Instead of selling them I had to pay someone to take them away. *Hands Money To Exterminator* Bye bed bugs,  sorry things didn’t work out! *Waves Hand*

I did think that perhaps they would be able to help me with my Hemochromatosis, instead of donating a few pints of blood every month the little blood suckers would take care of that. *Snickers* It wasn’t meant to be, right after I turned back into a twig from the Flea bite, I developed an allergy to bed bug bites and morphed back into looking like the Good Year Blimp with a severe case of acne!!! *Frowns* Although, I was beginning to enjoy having the ability to float in the air. *Cracks Up Laughing* But, then I started to get scared that I might deflate all at once and go SPLAT on the ground. <*Note To Self* Practice Bouncing To Prevent Breaking Bones When Going SPLAT!!! Oh, And Buy Lots & Lots Of Bubble Wrap For Protection When Bouncing!!! *Nods Head*>

I was going to tell you about my incident with a door, but I have to practice my bouncing now! *Giggles* Oh, anyone who has any safe, non-bone breaking techniques I’d greatly appreciate if you would share them with me. *Smile* The Sooner the better – I don’t have that many bone left that I haven’t broken!!! Um, there’s a good chance I don’t have any bones left I haven’t broken. *Glares At Door*

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Bed Bug Epidemic *Yells* NOOOO!

What You Don’t Want To Know, But Should.

Bed bugs are making a comeback after nearly vanishing in the 40’s and 50’s with the use of DDT.  But, DDT has been banned and we don’t have an alternative solution to eradicate bedbugs.  Forty bed bugs can multiply to about 6,000 in approximately six months. Yes, you read that right – 40 bed bugs can turn into 6,000 in six months and we don’t have any way to eliminate them permanently!

Bed bugs are in our schools, upscale hotels, stores, libraries, public transit,   hospitals, movie theaters, daycare centers, summer camps, airplanes – they’re everywhere!  We are without a doubt on the threshold of a bed bug pandemic.  Columbus, Ohio, New York, and Toronto, Ontario are listed as the three-worst afflicted city in North America and it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Bed bugs are not just a problem for the poor, filthy, homeless, shelters, hostels, or community housing.  Nor are they related to people with special needs, those who are physically, mentally, developmentally challenged, or people with disabilities!  Bed bugs don’t discriminate their sole source of food is blood, rich or poor we all have one thing in common – BLOOD!!!  The major difference is the rich can afford to pay to have bed bugs purged from their homes without the “stigma” attached to bed bugs made public.  Unfortunately the poor can’t, they have to rely on Government funding, which is an exceedingly slow process and extremely limited.

Why is there such an overwhelming, devastating “stigma” involved when it comes to bed bugs?  Nobody wants to have bed bugs, the poor didn’t create the problem with bed bugs, there’s no reason one should feel ashamed if they do have bed bugs.  But, we treat people who do have a bed bug infestation like it’s a dirty secret and no one should know.  Once again, I have to ask why?

In my quest to find the answer to that question, I learnt a lot about bed bugs, their habits, how people can get a bed bug infestation, and most importantly what has to be done to rid your home of bed bugs, but I didn’t find the answer to my original question – WHY?

I’m going to share the knowledge I gained with you and hopefully someone can answer my question, WHY.

WHAT ARE BED BUGS? 

Bed bugs are insects that, as adults, have oval-shaped bodies with no wings. Prior to feeding, they are about 1/4 inch long and flat as paper. After feeding, they turn dark red and become bloated. Eggs are whitish, pear-shaped and about the size of a pinhead. Clusters of 10-50 eggs can be found in cracks and crevices. Bed bugs have a one-year life span during which time a female can lay 200-400 eggs depending on food supply and temperature. Eggs hatch in about 10 days.

WHAT DO BED BUGS FEED ON?

Bed bugs prefer to feed on human blood, but will also bite mammals and birds. Bed bugs bite at night, and will bite all over a human body, especially around the face, neck, upper torso, arms and hands. Bed bugs can survive up to six months without feeding. Both male and female bed bugs bite.

CAN I GET SICK FROM BED BUGS?

There are no known cases of infectious disease transmitted by bed bug bites. Most people are not aware that they have been bitten but some people are more sensitive to the bite and may have a localized reaction. Scratching the bitten areas can lead to infection.

HOW DO BED BUGS GET INTO MY HOME?

Bed bugs are often carried into a home on objects such as furniture and clothing. If you think you have a bed bug problem, check for live bed bugs or shells in the following areas:

*        Seams, creases, tufts and folds of mattresses and box springs;

*        Cracks in the bed frame and head board;

*        Under chairs, couches, beds, dust covers;

*        Between the cushions of couches and chairs;

*        Under area rugs and the edges of carpets;

*        Between the folds of curtains;

*        In drawers;

*        Behind baseboards, and around window and door casings;

*        Behind electrical plates and under loose wallpaper, paintings and posters;

*        In cracks in plaster; and

*        In telephones, radios, clocks, kitchen appliances; and electronics.

Bed bugs can also travel from apartment to apartment along pipes, electrical wiring and other openings. If the infestation is heavy, a sweet smell may be noticed in the room.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE BED BUGS IN YOUR HOME?

The best method to deal with bed bugs is Integrated Pest Management (IPM), which combines a variety of techniques and products that pose the least risk to human health and the environment.

Consult with your local health department or a Professional Pest Control operator to confirm that you have bed bugs.  Inspect your mattress and bed frame, particularly the folds, crevices and the underside, and other locations where bed bugs like to hide.  Use a nozzle attachment on the vacuum to capture the bed bugs and their eggs. Vacuum all crevices on your mattress, bed frame, baseboards and any objects close to the bed. It is essential to vacuum daily and empty the vacuum immediately.

Wash all your linens in the hottest water possible and place them in a hot dryer for 20 minutes. Consider covering your pillows and mattress with a plastic cover.  Remove all unnecessary clutter.  Seal cracks and crevices between baseboards, on wood bed frames, floors and walls with caulking. Repair or remove peeling wallpaper, tighten loose light switch covers, and seal any openings where pipes, wires or other utilities come into your home.  If you live in an apartment or condo pay special attention to walls that are shared between units.

Monitor daily by setting out glue boards or sticky tape, carpet tape works well, to catch the bed bugs. Closely examine any items that you are bringing into your home.  Consult Professional Pest Control Services and discuss options that pose the least risk to humans and the environment.  If you choose to treat the infestation with an insecticide, call a Professional Pest Control Service for more information. (Not all companies will provide you with free advice, but there’s an easy way around that. Inform them you’re comparing services and pricing and request a quote! They’ll want your business and will be happy to answer any question(s) you have.) Use the least toxic product available and follow all manufacturers’ instructions.

Whether you choose Integrated Pest Management or insecticides, you may continue to see some living bed bugs for up to ten days. This is normal. If you continue to see a large number of bed bugs after two weeks, notify your Property Manager or contact a Professional Pest Control Service.

What Do Bed Bug Bites Look Like?    

When bed bugs bite people, they inject their saliva into the biting area, causing the skin to become irritated and inflamed.  Individual responses to bed bug bites will vary. The skin lesion from bed bug bites may go unnoticed, or be mistaken for flea or mosquito bites or other skin conditions.

There are four types of skin rashes:

*        The most common rash is made up of localized red and itchy flat lesions;

*        The classical bed bug bites could be presented in a linear fashion in a group of three, which is called “breakfast, lunch, and dinner;

*        Small raised red swelling lesions are also common;

*        In rare cases, people may develop large raised, often itchy, red welts; and

*        In people with high sensitivity to bed bug saliva, people may develop a lump filled with blood or fluid.

Bed bug bites most commonly occur on exposed areas of the body, face, neck, hands, arms, lower legs and sometimes all over the body.

HOW TO TREAT BED BUG BITES?

Most bed bug bites go away by themselves and don’t need treatment. Keep the skin clean and try not to scratch. If the bites are very itchy, your doctor may prescribe cream or antihistamines to relieve the itchiness. Oral antibiotics may be prescribed for any secondary skin infection from excessive scratching.

HOW TO PREVENT BED BUGS FROM ENTERING YOUR HOME?

Although even the cleanest homes and hotels can have bed bugs, regular house cleaning, including vacuuming your mattress, can help to prevent an infestation. Clean up clutter to help reduce the number of places bed bugs can hide.  Be careful when buying used furniture or clothes. Make sure to inspect any used item, and feel free to ask the retailer if the items were checked for bed bugs.  Use caution when bringing home used furniture or clothes from the curb side. These items may be infested with bed bugs.

WHEN TRAVELING TAKE THE FOLLOWING PRECAUTIONS:

Inspect the room and furniture:

*        Check all cracks and crevices of the mattress and box spring, and look for blood spots or live insects;

*        Request a different room if you find evidence of beg bugs or if possible move to a different hotel!!!

Protect your luggage:

*        Keep all belongings in your luggage and wrap your luggage in plastic to help prevent bed bugs from entering your luggage; and

*        Keep luggage on the shelf or away from the floor.

Upon returning home:

*        Keep your luggage in an isolated area of your home, such as the garage;

*        Inspect the luggage; and

*        Wash all your clothes in the hottest water possible and put them in a hot dryer for 20 minutes.

Multi-unit dwellings, including hotels, apartments, condos, hostels, shelters, student residences and rooming houses, are high-risk locations for bed bug infestations. The best method to deal with bed bugs is Integrated Pest Management (IPM), which combines a variety of techniques and products that pose the least risk to human health and the environment.

If you live in an apartment or rented condo collaboration between tenants and landlords are necessary to eliminate bed bug infestations. (If you own the condo check your purchase agreement to verify who is responsible for pest control. There may be a clause stating you are financially responsible. If there isn’t speak with the property manager, they may hold you fiscally accountable. Since, there are other units adjacent to yours & they definitely don’t want a bed bug epidemic, they might cover the cost or split the expense with you.) The following steps are recommended for tenants, landlords and property managers dealing with bed bug infestations:

*        Early detection of bed bug infestation is key;

*        Tenants, immediately report a bed bug infestation to your Superintendent, Landlord or Property Manager;

*        Property Managers, respond to tenant’s complaints about bed bugs without delay, and conduct proper inspections; and

*        Consult Your Public Health Department or Professional Pest Control Services on how to confirm bed bugs infestations.

CONTROL OF BED BUGS:

Use a Professional Pest Control service experienced in bed bug control and Integrated Pest Management (IPM).  Consult with tenant(s) in bed bug-affected unit(s) to ensure adequate preparation steps have been taken to prepare room(s) prior to treatment.  After treatment ensure an inspection by either the Property Manager/Landlord or Pest Control Professional is carried out to assess the treatment’s effectiveness and determine if more spray is needed.  Often numerous treatments are required.

Prevention:

Seal cracks and crevices between baseboards, on wood bed frames, floors and walls with caulking;

Repair or remove peeling wallpaper;

Tighten loose light switch covers; and

Seal any openings where pipes, wires or other utilities come into the home (pay special attention to walls that are shared between apartments).

Furniture removal:

Furniture from infested homes, apartments, condos or office buildings should be removed as soon as possible; and

When possible dismantled all furniture so they are not picked up by someone else.

Set of guidelines for the treatment of bed bugs in multi-unit dwellings for Pest Management Professionals (PMP).

Before the treatment begins, all occupants, including pets, must leave the unit and not enter for a minimum of 4 – 6 hours after the technician arrives.  If your immune system is compromised do not return for a minimum of 48 hours.   Aquariums may remain in place as long as the filtration and aeration systems are turned off and the tank is adequately covered. Filtration and aeration equipment should be turned back on 6 hours after treatment. Anyone who is pregnant or has allergies or asthma should take the necessary precautions.

Before treatment:

*        All clutter should be removed from the unit;

*        If possible, steam clean, wet vacuum or shampoo any carpeting and furnishings;

*        Vacuum the mattress thoroughly including the crevices, handles and buttons;

*        Vacuum bed frame, baseboards and objects/flooring close to bed;

*        Immediately discard the vacuum bag, place in tightly sealed garbage bag before disposal;

*        Remove all clothing from dressers and closets, place in clean plastic bags or plastic totes;

*        Bookshelves, nightstands, wardrobes, and desks, must be emptied so the technician can spray the undersides of the furniture; and

*        Place all items in tightly sealed garbage bags and leave them in the room to be treated.

LAUNDERING

All clothing items should be placed in garbage bags sealed and emptied directly into the washing machine. When the laundering cycles are complete, the clean laundry should be placed in new clear garbage bags and sealed during the treatment process. The garbage bags used for transporting clothing articles to the laundry room should be discarded outside the premise as they may contain bed bugs. For severe infestations, water soluble bags should be used if possible to collect sheets and clothing and put directly into the wash. It is important to launder items using hot water as cold water will not kill bed bugs or their eggs. All clean clothes should be put in the dryer on high for a minimum of 20 minutes. Some clothing may require dry cleaning.

BEDS

All bedding must be removed before the technician arrives. Soiled bedding should be washed in hot water (separate from all other laundry) or dry cleaned before or soon after the treatment to avoid resurgence of bed bugs. Pillows should also be placed in the dryer on high heat for a minimum of 20 minutes. After treatment, bed skirts should be avoided; bedding tucked in tightly; and bed kept a few inches away from the wall.

BABY CRIBS

All linen should be laundered. All toys should be washed in soapy hot water and stuffed toys should be placed in dryer on high heat for 20 minutes.

DRESSERS AND NIGHT TABLES

All contents of dressers are to be placed in garbage bags and placed in the dryer cycle on hot for a minimum of 20 minutes.  All articles on top of dresser are to be removed and placed in plastic bags or plastic totes. Bookshelves, nightstands or other furniture in the immediate area must be emptied so that the technician can spray the undersides of the furniture. Furniture and items should be moved at least 30 cm (12 inches) away from the walls to facilitate spraying of the baseboards. Shelving and drawers should be clean.

CLOSETS

All closets including linen closets are to be emptied. Clean articles should be placed in the dryer on high heat for a minimum of 20 minutes. All soiled articles need to be washed in hot water and then dried in high heat. Laundromat dryers may have lower heat settings and may not heat up to 60o C so the full cycle should be used.

SOFAS AND CHAIRS

All chair covers, throws and pillows must be laundered prior to treatment.

DISPOSAL OF FURNITURE

Discarding beds, bedding, and furniture is NOT a sound approach to bed bug control as they can be easily re-infested. Furniture that is infested with bed bugs that cannot be salvaged needs to be disposed of in a manner that will prevent the further spread of bed bugs. In the process of removing a piece of furniture, bed bugs can escape into hallways and make their way into new apartments spreading the problem to new areas.

If you decide to throw out bed bug infested furniture:

*        Take apart, deface or damage the piece of furniture to ensure it cannot be reused;

*        Mattresses should be slashed or otherwise damaged to make it unusable and wrapped;

*        Wrap the furniture in plastic so bed bugs cannot escape-this should be done in the unit before the mattress is removed; and

*        Put in trash shortly before pick-up, so it doesn’t sit for a long time.

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT BEDBUGS

Myth: Bed bugs are too small to see.
Fact: Although they may be difficult to find because they hide well, bed bugs are big enough to be seen with the naked eye. Bed bugs look similar to an apple seed in size and appearance.

Myth: Bed bugs are only found in shelters; just poor people or dirty people get them.

Fact: Bed bugs can be found in hotels, motels, dormitories, apartments, condos, private homes, and even in some public places, such as businesses and offices. Anyone can get bed bugs.

Myth: Walking into a room that has bed bugs means you will get bed bugs.

Fact: Bed bugs do not jump or fly. They spend 90% of their time hiding and are usually only active at night, but in severe bed bug infestations they will come out during the day.  Bed bugs have a tendency to avoid light and do not like to be disturbed. Nevertheless, they will appear regardless if there is light or not.

Myth: Bed bugs cause disease.

Fact: Bed bugs are not considered a health hazard and do not transmit disease. Bed bug bites, however, can cause allergic reaction in some people similar to a mosquito bite. Frequent scratching of the bite marks or picking the scabs can cause infections. But according to most reports, bedbugs significantly impact mental health, causing anxiety, stress, sleep deprivation, shame, isolation and paranoia.

Myth: Chemicals/pesticides will kill bed bugs.

Fact: Pesticide application alone will not kill bed bugs at all stages. Successful treatment depends on an Integrated Pest Management approach to bed bug control which involves, vacuuming, and steaming, laundering belongings, sealing areas and gaps where bed bugs can hide.  Do NOT use over the counter pest control products or home remedies such as kerosene – they do not work.

What You Don’t Want To Know, But Should. Bed bugs are making a comeback after nearly vanishing in the 40’s and 50’s with the use of DDT. But, DDT has been banned and we don’t have an alternative solution to eradicate bedbugs. Forty bed bugs can multiply to about 6,000 in approximately six months. Yes, you read that right – 40 bed bugs can turn into 6,000 in six months and we don’t have any way to eliminate them permanently!

Bed bugs are in our schools, upscale hotels, stores, libraries, public transit, hospitals, movie theatres, daycare centers, summer camps, airplanes – they’re everywhere! We are without a doubt on the threshold of a bed bug pandemic. Columbus, Ohio, New York, and Toronto, Ontario are listed as the three-worst afflicted city in North America and it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Bed bugs are not just a problem for the poor, filthy, homeless, shelters, hostels, or community housing. Nor are they only related to people with special needs, those who are physically, mentally, developmentally challenged, or people with disabilities! Bed bugs don’t discriminate their sole source of food is blood, rich or poor we all have one thing in common – BLOOD!!! The major difference is the rich can afford to pay to have bed bugs purged from their homes without the “stigma” attached to bed bugs made public. Unfortunately the poor can’t, they have to rely on Government funding, which is an exceedingly slow process and extremely limited.

Why is there such an overwhelming, devastating “stigma” involved when it comes to bed bugs? Nobody wants to have bed bugs, the poor didn’t create the problem with bed bugs, there’s no reason one should feel ashamed if they do have bed bugs. But, we treat people who do have a bed bug infestation like it’s a dirty secret and no one should know. Once again, I have to ask why? In my quest to find the answer to that question, I learnt a lot about bed bugs, their habits, how people can get a bed bug infestation, and most importantly what has to be done to rid your home of bed bugs, but I didn’t find the answer to my original question – WHY?

I’m going to share the knowledge I gained with you and hopefully someone can answer my question, WHY.

WHAT ARE BED BUGS?


Bed bugs are insects that, as adults, have oval-shaped bodies with no wings. Prior to feeding, they are about 1/4 inch long and flat as paper. After feeding, they turn dark red and become bloated. Eggs are whitish, pear-shaped and about the size of a pinhead. Clusters of 10-50 eggs can be found in cracks and crevices. Bed bugs have a one-year life span during which time a female can lay 200-400 eggs depending on food supply and temperature. Eggs hatch in about 10 days.

WHAT DO BED BUGS FEED ON?


Bed bugs prefer to feed on human blood, but will also bite mammals and birds. Bed bugs bite at night, and will bite all over a human body, especially around the face, neck, upper torso, arms and hands. Bed bugs can survive up to six months without feeding. Both male and female bed bugs bite.

CAN I GET SICK FROM BED BUGS?


There are no known cases of infectious disease transmitted by bed bug bites. Most people are not aware that they have been bitten but some people are more sensitive to the bite and may have a localized reaction. Scratching the bitten areas can lead to infection.

HOW DO BED BUGS GET INTO MY HOME?


Bed bugs are often carried into a home on objects such as furniture and clothing. If you think you have a bed bug problem, check for live bed bugs or shells in the following areas:

* Seams, creases, tufts and folds of mattresses and box springs;

* Cracks in the bed frame and head board;

* Under chairs, couches, beds, dust covers;

* Between the cushions of couches and chairs;

* Under area rugs and the edges of carpets;

* Between the folds of curtains;

* In drawers;

* Behind baseboards, and around window and door casings;

* Behind electrical plates and under loose wallpaper, paintings and posters;

* In cracks in plaster; and

* In telephones, radios, clocks, kitchen appliances; and electronics.

Bed bugs can also travel from apartment to apartment along pipes, electrical wiring and other openings. If the infestation is heavy, a sweet smell may be noticed in the room.


WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE BED BUGS IN YOUR HOME?


The best method to deal with bed bugs is Integrated Pest Management (IPM), which combines a variety of techniques and products that pose the least risk to human health and the environment.

Consult with your local health department or a Professional Pest Control operator to confirm that you have bed bugs. Inspect your mattress and bed frame, particularly the folds, crevices and the underside, and other locations where bed bugs like to hide. Use a nozzle attachment on the vacuum to capture the bed bugs and their eggs. Vacuum all crevices on your mattress, bed frame, baseboards and any objects close to the bed. It is essential to vacuum daily and empty the vacuum immediately.

Wash all your linens in the hottest water possible and place them in a hot dryer for 20 minutes. Consider covering your pillows and mattress with a plastic cover. Remove all unnecessary clutter. Seal cracks and crevices between baseboards, on wood bed frames, floors and walls with caulking. Repair or remove peeling wallpaper, tighten loose light switch covers, and seal any openings where pipes, wires or other utilities come into your home. If you live in an apartment or condo pay special attention to walls that are shared between units.

Monitor daily by setting out glue boards or sticky tape, carpet tape works well, to catch the bed bugs. Closely examine any items that you are bringing into your home. Consult Professional Pest Control Services and discuss options that pose the least risk to humans and the environment. If you choose to treat the infestation with an insecticide, call a Professional Pest Control Service for more information. (Not all companies will provide you with free advice, but there’s an easy way around that. Inform them you’re comparing services and pricing and request a quote! They’ll want your business and will be happy to answer any question(s) you have.) Use the least toxic product available and follow all manufacturers’ instructions.

Whether you choose Integrated Pest Management or insecticides, you may continue to see some living bed bugs for up to ten days. This is normal. If you continue to see a large number of bed bugs after two weeks, notify your Property Manager or contact a Professional Pest Control Service.

What Do Bed Bug Bites Look Like?


When bed bugs bite people, they inject their saliva into the biting area, causing the skin to become irritated and inflamed. Individual responses to bed bug bites will vary. The skin lesion from bed bug bites may go unnoticed, or be mistaken for flea or mosquito bites or other skin conditions.

There are four types of skin rashes:

* The most common rash is made up of localized red and itchy flat lesions;

* The classical bed bug bites could be presented in a linear fashion in a group of three, which is called “breakfast, lunch, and dinner;

* Small raised red swelling lesions are also common;

* In rare cases, people may develop large raised, often itchy, red welts; and

* In people with high sensitivity to bed bug saliva, people may develop a lump filled with blood or fluid.

Bed bug bites most commonly occur on exposed areas of the body, face, neck, hands, arms, lower legs and sometimes all over the body.


HOW TO TREAT BED BUG BITES?


Most bed bug bites go away by themselves and don’t need treatment. Keep the skin clean and try not to scratch. If the bites are very itchy, your doctor may prescribe cream or antihistamines to relieve the itchiness. Oral antibiotics may be prescribed for any secondary skin infection from excessive scratching.

HOW TO I PREVENT BED BUGS FROM ENTERING YOUR HOME?

Although even the cleanest homes and hotels can have bed bugs, regular house cleaning, including vacuuming your mattress, can help to prevent an infestation. Clean up clutter to help reduce the number of places bed bugs can hide. Be careful when buying used furniture or clothes. Make sure to inspect any used item, and feel free to ask the retailer if the items were checked for bed bugs. Use caution when bringing home used furniture or clothes from the curb side. These items may be infested with bed bugs.

WHEN TRAVELING TAKE THE FOLLOWING PRECAUTIONS:

Inspect the room and furniture:

* Check all cracks and crevices of the mattress and box spring, and look for blood spots or live insects;

* Request a different room if you find evidence of beg bugs or if possible move to a different hotel!!!

Protect your luggage:

* Keep all belongings in your luggage and wrap your luggage in plastic to help prevent bed bugs from entering your luggage; and

* Keep luggage on the shelf or away from the floor.

Upon returning home:

* Keep your luggage in an isolated area of your home, such as the garage;

* Inspect the luggage; and

* Wash all your clothes in the hottest water possible and put them in a hot dryer for 20 minutes.

Multi-unit dwellings, including hotels, apartments, condos, hostels, shelters, student residences and rooming houses, are high-risk locations for bed bug infestations. The best method to deal with bed bugs is Integrated Pest Management (IPM), which combines a variety of techniques and products that pose the least risk to human health and the environment.


If you live in an apartment or rented condo collaboration between tenants and landlords are necessary to eliminate bed bug infestations. (If you own the condo check your purchase agreement to verify who is responsible for pest control. There may be a clause stating you are financially responsible. If there isn’t speak with the property manager, they may hold you fiscally accountable. Since, there are other units adjacent to yours & they definitely don’t want a bed bug epidemic, they might cover the cost or split the expenses with you.) The following steps are recommended for tenants, landlords and property managers dealing with bed bug infestations:

* Early detection of bed bug infestation is key;

* Tenants, immediately report a bed bug infestation to your Superintendent, Landlord or Property Manager;

* Property Managers, respond to tenant’s complaints about bed bugs without delay, and conduct proper inspections; and

* Consult Your Public Health Department or Professional Pest Control Services on how to confirm bed bugs infestations.

CONTROL OF BED BUGS:

Use a Professional Pest Control service experienced in bed bug control and Integrated Pest Management (IPM). Consult with tenant(s) in bed bug-affected unit(s) to ensure adequate preparation steps have been taken to prepare room(s) prior to treatment. After treatment ensure an inspection by either the Property Manager/Landlord or Pest Control Professional is carried out to assess the treatment’s effectiveness and determine if more spray is needed. Often numerous treatments are required.

Prevention:

Seal cracks and crevices between baseboards, on wood bed frames, floors and walls with caulking;

Repair or remove peeling wallpaper;

Tighten loose light switch covers; and

Seal any openings where pipes, wires or other utilities come into the home (pay special attention to walls that are shared between apartments).

Furniture removal:

Furniture from infested homes, apartments, condos or office buildings should be removed as soon as possible; and

When possible dismantled all furniture so they are not picked up by someone else.

Set of guidelines for the treatment of bed bugs in multi-unit dwellings for Pest Management Professionals (PMP).

Before the treatment begins, all occupants, including pets, must leave the unit and not enter for a minimum of 4 – 6 hours after the technician arrives. If your immune system is compromised do not return for a minimum of 48 hours. Aquariums may remain in place as long as the filtrations and aeration systems are turned off and the tank is adequately covered. Filtration and aeration equipment should be turned back on 6 hours after treatment. Anyone who is pregnant or has allergies or asthma should take the necessary precautions.

Before treatment:

* All clutter should be removed from the unit;

* If possible, steam clean, wet vacuum or shampoo any carpeting and furnishings;

* Vacuum the mattress thoroughly including the crevices, handles and buttons;

* Vacuum bed frame, baseboards and objects/flooring close to bed;

* Immediately discard the vacuum bag, place in tightly sealed garbage bag before disposal;

* Remove all clothing from dressers and closets, place in clean plastic bags or plastic totes;

* Bookshelves, nightstands, wardrobes, and desks, must be emptied so the technician can spray the undersides of the furniture; and

* Place all items in tightly sealed garbage bags and leave them in the room to be treated.

LAUNDERING


All clothing items should be placed in garbage bags sealed and emptied directly into the washing machine. When the laundering cycles are complete, the clean laundry should be placed in new clear garbage bags and sealed during the treatment process. The garbage bags used for transporting clothing articles to the laundry room should be discarded outside the premise as they may contain bed bugs. For severe infestations, water soluble bags should be used if possible to collect sheets and clothing and put directly into the wash. It is important to launder items using hot water as cold water will not kill bed bugs or their eggs. All clean clothes should be put in the dryer on high for a minimum of 20 minutes. Some clothing may require dry cleaning.

BEDS


All bedding must be removed before the technician arrives. Soiled bedding should be washed in hot water (separate from all other laundry) or dry cleaned before or soon after the treatment to avoid resurgence of bed bugs. Pillows should also be placed in the dryer on high heat for a minimum of 20 minutes. After treatment, bed skirts should be avoided; bedding tucked in tightly; and bed kept a few inches away from the wall.

BABY CRIBS


All linen should be laundered. All toys should be washed in soapy hot water and stuffed toys should be placed in dryer on high heat for 20 minutes.

DRESSERS AND NIGHT TABLES


All contents of dressers are to be placed in garbage bags and placed in the dryer cycle on hot for a minimum of 20 minutes. All articles on top of dresser are to be removed and placed in plastic bags or plastic totes. Bookshelves, nightstands or other furniture in the immediate area must be emptied so that the technician can spray the undersides of the furniture. Furniture and items should be moved at least 30 cm (12 inches) away from the walls to facilitate spraying of the baseboards. Shelving and drawers should be clean.

CLOSETS


All closets including linen closets are to be emptied. Clean articles should be placed in the dryer on high heat for a minimum of 20 minutes. All soiled articles need to be washed in hot water and then dried in high heat. Laundromat dryers may have lower heat settings and may not heat up to 60o C so the full cycle should be used.

SOFAS AND CHAIRS


All chair covers, throws and pillows must be laundered prior to treatment.

DISPOSAL OF FURNITURE


Discarding beds, bedding, and furniture is NOT a sound approach to bed bug control as they can be easily re-infested. Furniture that is infested with bed bugs that cannot be salvaged needs to be disposed of in a manner that will prevent the further spread of bed bugs. In the process of removing a piece of furniture, bed bugs can escape into hallways and make their way into new apartments spreading the problem to new areas.

If you decide to throw out bed bug infested furniture:

* Take apart, deface or damage the piece of furniture to ensure it cannot be reused;

* Mattresses should be slashed or otherwise damaged to make it unusable and wrapped;

* Wrap the furniture in plastic so bed bugs cannot escape-this should be done in the unit before the mattress is removed; and

* Put in trash shortly before pick-up, so it doesn’t sit for a long time.

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT BEDBUGS

Myth: Bed bugs are too small to see.


Fact: Although they may be difficult to find because they hide well, bed bugs are big enough to be seen with the naked eye. Bed bugs look similar to an apple seed in size and appearance.

Myth: Bed bugs are only found in shelters; only poor people or dirty people get them.

Fact: Bed bugs can be found in hotels, motels, dormitories, apartments, condos, private homes, and even in some public places, such as businesses and offices. Anyone can get bed bugs.


Myth: Walking into a room that has bed bugs means you will get bed bugs.

Fact: Bed bugs do not jump or fly. They spend 90% of their time hiding and are usually only active at night, but in severe bed bug infestations they will come out during the day. Bed bugs have a tendency to avoid light and do not like to be disturbed. Nevertheless, they will appear regardless if there is light or not.


Myth: Bed bugs cause disease.


Fact: Bed bugs are not considered a health hazard and do not transmit disease. Bed bug bites, however, can cause allergic reaction in some people similar to a mosquito bite. Frequent scratching of the bite marks or picking the scabs can cause infections. But according to most reports, bedbugs significantly impact mental health, causing anxiety, stress, sleep deprivation, shame, isolation and paranoia.


Myth: Chemicals/pesticides will kill bed bugs.


Fact: Pesticide application alone will not kill bed bugs at all stages. Successful treatment depends on an Integrated Pest Management approach to bed bug control which involves, vacuuming, and steaming, laundering belongings, sealing areas and gaps where bed bugs can hide. Do NOT use over the counter pest control products or home remedies such as kerosene – they do not work.

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Murphy Stikes Again!

Okay, just when I thought nothing else could possibly go wrong, I got hit again! <I Must Have A Target Tattooed On Me Somewhere. *Laughs*> Thankfully I have a Reiki Master that always knows when I need help. She also attuned me into Reiki so I could work on myself.  <Another Fantastic Blessing Bequeathed To Me!  One I Never Realized I Had – The Power To Heal. *On Knees* Thank You God And Thank You Reiki Master, This Is A Blessing I’m Definitely Going To Get A Lot From.*Makes Sign Of Cross*> The first time I tried it on myself it didn’t work.  Hmm, I know I’m gifted, why wasn’t it working? *Thinks* I have a positive mindset, I believe, what AM I missing? *Confused Look* Then it hit me, I was trying to run before I learned to crawl or walk. *Shakes Head* Why I thought I could cure my brain tumor when a Certified Reiki Master couldn’t is beyond me. *Slaps Self* but that’s exactly what I was trying to do. *Smirks At Self* When I realized what I was doing wrong, I started to learn to crawl instead of trying to run.  A few days later, I banged my knee on a wall, being all skin & bones the pain was intense.  I cupped my hand around my knee and visualized the pain leaving my body. Suddenly my knee didn’t hurt anymore, but I had this burning sensation flowing down my leg.  Next it was in my ankle, than my foot and my toes started to tingle. <OMG, What Have I Done To Myself???> Nothing bad, I was eliminating myself from the pain and it was leaving my body through my toes. *Laughing* A few minutes later the pain was gone and I didn’t have a bruise or any swelling where I hit my knee. I immediately thanked God and continued on my cheery way.  I’m at the point that not only can I heal some of my own pain, but I can also help others with their pain. *Smile* I don’t know if I’ll ever be as powerful as my Reiki Master, but I am getting stronger in my ability to heal. Now, when I work on myself I can literally see the pain exiting my body. <Wasn’t Prepared For That One!!! *Stunned* Thought I’d Have A Heart Attack When I Saw What Looked Like Lightening Bolts Shooting Out Of My Fingertips. *Bursts Out Laughing*>

If you’re a non-believer, you should really open you mind and try it.  It’s truly an amazing experience and the benefits are incredible. I didn’t start off being a believer *Shakes Head* I have a logical mind and this didn’t make any sense to me logically. But, things were getting totally out of control and I knew I had to do something. *Sighs* It wasn’t easy, but I knew enough about Reiki to know it couldn’t hurt me so I opened my mind. <Took A Pry Bar, But It Was One Of The Best Things I Could Have Done For Myself. *Giggles*>

Once I opened my mind and accepted the help she was offering me, I started to feel results immediately.  Problems I was having with my health just dissipated, I felt like I something magical was happening to me. <I Could Kick Myself For Not Opening My Mind Sooner. *Kicks Self*> I’ve been into Reiki for quite a few years now and I can honestly say that without it, I would have been in a wheelchair and gradually going blind a long time ago. <My MS Specialist Was Having Difficulties Understanding Why I Was Doing So Well. His Wife Has MS Too She’s Still In The RRMS Stage, But In A Wheelchair! *Wipes Tears*> By this time my MS had advancement to the Secondary Progressive stage, any damage done was going to stay that way. Gone were the days of RRMS (“Relapses” Followed By Complete Or Partial Recovery “Remissions”) but, that wasn’t happening to me I wasn’t getting worse, I was getting better. *Smile* When I told him I was seeing a Reiki Master and she surrounded my MS in a white ball to keep it under control, he was so impressed that he made his wife see a Reiki Master. *Muffles Laugh* She still needs the wheelchair from time to time, but she’s getting better and better each day. *Big Smile*

Anyone need Reiki just give me a shout!!! And I’ll set you up with a Reiki Master!!! *Cracks Up Laughing* Bet you thought I was going to offer to do Reiki on you, right??? Not yet, but perhaps soon!!! *Fingers Crossed*

Um, I got so caught up in Reiki I forgot to tell you what Murphy did to me!! *Rolls Eyes* I’ll get off my soapbox now, *Puts Soap Box Away* but your going to have to wait until my next post to find out what Murphy did to me this time! *Shakes Finger* Bad, Bad, Bad, Murphy!!! *Smothers Laughter*

Oh, and you can also use Reiki on animals too *Nods Head* I use it all the time on The Spice Cats – Cilantro and Tarragon both love it and it saves on Vet bills! <Hmm, Not Like I Pay A Vet, But If I Did I’d Save Lots Of Money!!! *Laughs*>

Till later, *Waves Bye*

Cilly

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Welcome To My Life!!!

Hi, welcome to my quirky, extraordinary, slightly off-the-wall,  Murphy Ruled, *Crosses Fingers* but charmed life. Charmed Life <*Sings* You Know I Live A Charmed, Charmed, Life…> It’s filled with happiness, fun, laughter, and delight! *Smiles* Oh, some incurable diseases and other health problems too!!! <*Smiles At Self* My Motto: If You’re Going To Do Something – Go For The Gold!!! *Giggles*> Um, I’ve also developed an addiction to breaking bones, unfortunately they’re mostly mine. *Muffles Laugh* And I’ve created some new extreme sports – bumper jumping, sidewalk bouncing, <When ARE They Going To Pad The Sidewalks???> and a few others, but I’ll save them for later. <Yeah That’s The Way To Go – Keep People In Suspense So They’ll Come Back To See What Other Amazing Extreme Sports I Can Do! *Beaming* Or What New Diseases I Come Down With, Broken Bones…*Bursts Out Laughing*>

Okay, I had to say “mostly I break my own bones” because once, I accidentally broke one of my doctor’s eardrum’s. *Covers Smile With Hand* But, honestly it was his fault – he broke my nose first!!!  *Expels Crystal Shattering Scream* He should have known when you break someone’s nose it hurts and people scream when their in pain. *Yells* Hey Doc, it’s NOT my fault you still had a stethoscope plug stuck in your ear when YOU dropped it on MY nose!!!  *Shakes Finger At Doctor* BTW, I really didn’t appreciate you breaking my nose – that’s Tarragon’s job!!! *Sniggers*

LaPerm Cat aka Dat

Mom, This Picture Makes My Eyes & Ears Look Big!!!

Terrific Tarragon, LaPerm Cat A.K.A. The Terrorizor Dat!

Of course, my life hasn’t always been this much fun.  *Shakes Head* At one time I used to have a  normal, traditional lifestyle.  *Shrugs Shoulders* Actually, it was kind of boring now that I think about it – especially compared to my lifestyle today!  *Grins* Lucky for me that all changed when Murphy decided he wanted to rule my life. <Yup, I’m Blessed *Smirks Behind Hand* Out Of Everyone In The World Murphy Picked ME!!! *Cracks Up Laughing*>

Since Murphy took over my life, it’s become one exciting escapade after another!  *Crosses Fingers* I can’t wait to get up in the morning to see what Murphy’s going to hit me with next!!!  <*Whispers* Okay I Must Admit, I Have Tried Ducking, But Murphy’s Aim Is Better Than My Ducking Abilities. *Note To Self* Practice Ducking!!! *Smirks*> I’m beginning to feel like I’m a Murphy magnet – he’s never missed me even once nor does he ever miss a day! *Laughs At Self*

*Sings* You Are So Beautiful To...*Laughs*

Yeah I Know, I Just Get Better Looking Everyday!!! *Stifles Laugh*

*Yells* Murphy look what you’ve done to me!!! *Frowns* Not only do I look like a skeleton, my nose is lopsided, my mouth is wired shut, my face is smashed in, my eyes don’t match, a-a-and I’m bald!!! <Why Oh Why, Am I Not Living The Life Of Reilly Instead Of Murphy???  *Thinks*  Oh, ‘Cause I Wouldn’t Be Having So Much Fun If I Was!!! *Smothers Laughter With Hand*> Poor little Cilantro spends all day licking my head to get my hair to grow – she’s wearing out her tongue and can’t keep her tiara on straight. *Cuddles Cilantro*

Princess Cilantro

Mom, My Tiara Keeps Tilting To The Side!!! *Stomps Paw*

Princess Cilantro – The Most Beautiful Norwegian Forest Cat & Princess In The Universe!

You got me *Nods Head* I’m one of those crazy people that love their cats and treat them like babies. *Smothers Laugh* I really don’t force them to dress up they enjoy it and their not like your normal cat. *Shakes Head* Their both Certified Therapy Cats, know how to walk on a leash, love to swim, have numerous other unique abilities and *Stuffs Hand In Mouth* they have their own website with their Guardian Angel brothers Nutmeg and Parsley – collectively known as The Spice Cats. <*Attempts To Prevent Laughing* No Can Do!!! *Laughs Uncontrollably*> Ah, you can stop laughing now – it’s really not as unconventional as one might believe. *Gets Crazy Glue* Here this will help just put a little dab on your lips! *Hands Out Crazy Glue* You may want to keep it handy it could come in extremely useful! *Angelic Smile On Face* Oh BTW, I didn’t come up with this idea on my own *Shakes Head* Princess Cilantro taught it to me! *Covers Smile* She loves Crazy Glue &  knows over 100 different things you can use it for that isn’t on the label. *Laughing Hysterically*

Okay, I can’t think with you all laughing so you can wait until tomorrow for me to tell you all the fun I’m having with my on-line business. *Nods Head* Hey, just because I’m bedridden doesn’t mean I don’t work! *Muffles Giggles* Believe me – you can learn a lot from all the mistakes I made when I started my own on-line business. *Smirks At Self* I don’t believe there’s a scam I didn’t fall for and I’m suppose to be highly intelligent! *Bangs Head On Wall* On the bright-side I always got my money refunded and helped others get theirs back! *Glowing* Yup, I know exactly what buttons to push *Innocent Smile* to get them to see things from my point, but I’m not telling you!!! *Crazy Glues Mouth Shut*

Um, if your good I may tell you tomorrow <If  I Can Get The Crazy Glue Off My Mouth! *Slaps Fingers* When Will You Learn NOT To Use Crazy Glue On My Mouth? *Stomps Foot*> But then again I may make you wait!!! *Laughs & Waves Bye*

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Living In Fear…

I don’t have the normal how I got involved with the Internet story. *Shakes Head* I wasn’t homeless I didn’t have a drinking or drug problem, I wasn’t a high school or university drop out. *Nods Head* I was making great money, enjoyed what I was doing, living the life I wanted, but then FEAR entered my life. *Quivers* It’s not like I haven’t  been scared or afraid of something – I wouldn’t be human if I hadn’t! *Stifles Laugh* But this was a sheer, incapacitating, paralyzing feeling I’ve never experienced before and never wanted to experience again! *Praying*

But, shortly later fear became a major part of my life…I began experiencing it with my own health, my on-line businesses, and then Tarragon, granted he is a cat, but he’s my baby. *Cuddles Tarragon* I was devastated when he almost died at Christmas, for 2 weeks I could do nothing, I was immobilized by fear. <Maybe It Had A Lot To Do With My Being A Vet Previously; I Knew How Slim His Chances Of Survival Were. *Wipes Tears*> But, it was something I had no control over, yet I was panic stricken to the point of not being able to think of anything but Tarragon. *Sobs* For 2 weeks I did nothing but cry, forced myself to eat, didn’t sleep, didn’t touch the computer, didn’t answer the phone unless it was my Vet. <Yup, I Cut Myself Off From My Support System When I Needed It Most! *Rolls Eyes At Self*> I expected the worse and there was no way I could convince myself I was over reacting. I knew logically I was, but I still couldn’t prevent it. <Hmm, For A Logical Thinker I Definitely Wasn’t Using My Brain In A Logical Manner When It Involves One Of My Babies! *Slaps Head*>

When I was diagnosed with MS, not a problem, until I lost my driver’s license, even then I wasn’t bothered that I had MS, I was upset that I couldn’t drive any longer. <I Cried For Three Days When They Revoked My License, But Then My Positive Attitude Kicked In *Smile* And I Had Every Cab Company In The City On Speed Dial.> There, that solved that problem. *Muffles Laughter*

When I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, my only concern was if it was controllable. It was, but I had no idea how it would affect me; I just put mind over matter and continued on my merry little way. <If I Didn’t Mind, Why Should It Matter? *Laughs At Self*> I kept a positive attitude, completed the 8 months left of the contract while undergoing radiation every night.  The company I was troubleshooting for couldn’t believe I could still function normally. <I Was Spending 12 Hours In The Hospital With My Head Stuck In A Bucket Tossing My Cookies, Going Home To Shower, Change, And Off To Work. *Sings* Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, It’s Off To Work I Go…> They had the pleasure of watching all my hair fall out, drastic weight loss and me making jokes about it. <I Was Working For A Catering Company At The Time And I Was Sort Of The Company Pet!!! *Giggles Behind Hand* Lucky, Lucky, Me – The Chef’s Fed Me Non-Stop And Made Care Packages For Me To Bring Home! *Giant Grin*>

The reality of my situation hit when I couldn’t get another contract; no one was willing to take a chance on hiring me. <Frankly, I Wouldn’t Have Hired Me Looking The Way I Did & Still Do. *Snickers*> I kept a positive attitude and started to look into other opportunities that were available and discovered you could make money on the Internet!!! *Jumping Up & Down In Excitement* So, I started looking into work from home programs. *Nods Head* Yes!!! The perfect solution to my problem – I thought. *Eyes Rolled Back In Head*

Never having worked in E-Commerce prior, I decided to take an on-line course.  I thought I’d start off the way that has always worked for me in the past, by educating myself prior to starting a new endeavour.  <Why Fix What Isn’t Broken? *Bewildered Expression On Face*> The course was designed to ensure you started your business on a solid foundation, met all the legal requirements, everything a “Newbie” needed to know to open a successful on-line business or so I thought. <OMG, Perhaps I Should Give Up Thinking!!! *Smothers Laughter*> What they neglected to mention was all the additional money you had to spend after you paid the tuition. <*Psst* Ah, Don’t You Think You Should Mention This Prior To People Signing Up For Your Course??? *Listens* Oh, I Understand – No One Would Sign Up If They Knew In Advance!!! *Yells* You Are Pathetic – YOU Should NOT Be Operating A Business!!! *Stomps Foot* Uh I Get It, You Aren’t Actually Running a Business This Is Only for YOU To Steal People’s Money! *Shakes Finger*> I’m so happy I enrolled in your course – NOT!!!

In view of the fact that, I already paid for the course and couldn’t get my investment back, I decided I’d get what I could out of it. *Sniggers* Things were NOT going the greatest with this e-commerce course *Shakes Head* it was designed for American’s, and they never took into consideration that not all their students were American! *Sighs* Regrettably, I didn’t know enough about the Internet to know the difference at that time. <I Do Now, But It Was A Very Expensive Way To Learn. *Locks Credit Card In Vault*>

The first assignment was to open a US corporation and get an EIN number. *Confused Expression* Okay, how do I open a corporation when I don’t even know what type of on-line business I’m going to open? *Thinks* After much consideration <At Least 10 Minutes *Laughs* It Came To Me! *Chuckles*> I’m going to be selling something, not sure what, but this will should cover everything! *Nods Head* I named my corporation Simple Shopping, LLC. *Cracks Up Laughing*

Then I had to apply for an EIN number, now if I was American instead of Canadian, it would have cost me $65.00 US, but since I am Canadian it cost me $450.00 US.  This wouldn’t have been too bad, except the Canadian Dollar dropped to 75 cents US. <For Every Canadian Dollar I Spent It Cost Me An Addition 25 Cents. Big Sigh* Hmm, These Quarters Are Starting To Add Up Extremely Quickly! *Looks At Dwindling Pile Of Quarters*>

Next, I had to register my new business in the “State” I lived in. <*Yells* I Don’t Live In A “State” I Live In A “Province” You Do Know I’m Canadian Don’t You??? *Baffled Look*> Thus, I had to incorporate a business in Canada, so I could register my business where I lived. *Eyes Rolled Back In Head* I found out after the fact, I didn’t need to incorporate in the US nor did I need an EIN number.  All I had to do was federally incorporate in Canada doing business in Canada and the USA, but it was too late for me, I’d already done what this course told me to do. <*Puts Foot Down* I Am No Longer Going To Do What You Tell Me To It’s Costing Me A Fortune I Don’t Have! *Nods Head*>

This left me with 2 corporations, 2 websites with hosting <Another Unexpected Expense!!! *Shakes Head*> drop-shippers lined up and my business set for failure due to the exchange rate, duty & brokerage fees, and taxes.  Timing is everything and it was very apparent time was working against me. <*Sings* Time Don’t Run Out On Me…*Laughs*>

I realized that I had to do something to make some money, so I joined what was rated as the “Number One Work From Home Program”.  With this program I was supposed to be making money in 30 days, but I wasn’t!  I read all the testimonials and everyone said they were making money. <What Am I Doing Wrong? *Dazed Look On Face* Everyone Else Is Making Money, But Me. *Frowns*> I went back to the course binders and started reading them over again checking what I was doing at each step. *Confused* I’m doing exactly what they tell me, I didn’t miss any steps, why isn’t this working. <Goes To Bang Head On Wall. *Yells* Wait Don’t Do That You Have A Brain Tumour You Idiot!!! *Slaps Self*> Oh, right I forgot! *Shrugs Shoulders* Oops!!! Little voice in my head can I bang you against the wall? *Hopeful Expression On Face*

Instead of banging any heads on a wall, I called customer support.  A lot of good that did me, I didn’t get the support I was looking for, but they talked me into buying another program. *Smothers Laugh* This program was meant to drive traffic to your site. <That’s What I Was Missing Traffic! *Beaming* Yes! Another Problem Solved! *Pats Self On Back*> Unfortunately, that didn’t really help I was getting traffic, but no one was buying. <*Takes Deep Breath* Don’t Panic, The Traffic Is Generated By People Logging Onto Their Site Directly Not Through An Affiliate Link, Their Just Looking Right Now, When They Buy I’ll Get Paid. *Smile*> Once, I receive the postcards to send out, they’ll have my affiliate ID on them.  People will log on directly to my sites and I’ll make back all the money I’ve spent! *Does Happy Dance*

I received 50 postcards a few days later, I was reading what they said when I noticed they didn’t have my affiliate ID on them! *Picks Up Phone* I called customer support again to let them know about this dilemma. *Shocked* They told me they’d have them redone, but it would take 4 to 6 weeks. <Excuse Me, 4 To 6 Weeks? *Stunned* This Was Your Mistake Not Mine, Can’t You Put A Rush On Them? *Looks At Support* Nope, They Couldn’t!!!> I’m beginning to get a little peeved with you, I purchased the program 3 months ago, and it hasn’t done me one bit of good. *Listens* You’re sorry, not as sorry as I am for getting suckered into buying a totally useless program. *On Knees* May I have my money back please, by the time you get things right, my 12 months are going to be over? No, I can’t? *Baffled* Yes, I did read the contract & guarantee, but don’t you think that you should accept responsibility for your mistake?  I’ve already been in the program for 3 months and now you’re telling me it’s going to take another 4 to 6 weeks. *Shakes Head* Have YOU read your guarantee? *Glares At Support* Then you should be aware regardless what I do I won’t get my money back. *Smacks Computer* BTW, perhaps you haven’t noticed – I’m missing the first 3 months of my obligation, but it’s your fault!!! <*Yells* Accept Responsibility For Your Actions!!! *Censored*> YOU lost my paperwork, YOU issued the postcards with the incorrect information, and I’m the one that has to pay the price? <How DID You Get Rated As The Number 1 Legitimate Work From Home Program??? *Dumbfounded Expression On Face*> I have to go now before I put my fist through my monitor, but first would you mind banging you head again a wall for me? <More Money I Just Flushed Down The Toilet That I Can’t Afford! *Watches More Money Go Down Drain* Hmm, Am I Picking The Wrong Companies Or Is Every Internet Program A Scam? *Confounded Look*>

Then Joshua sent me an invitation to take part in Erik’s 12 Days of Christmas. Now, that was exceedingly beneficial to me and it didn’t cost me a cent. *Smile* A lot of what I was learning I already had the basics, but this course was filling in the blanks. <Thank You So Very Much, I Was Trying To Connect The Dots, But Didn’t Know What Dot Connected To The Other Dot. *Muffles Laugh*>

Then one of the guest speakers talked about everyone having a product inside of them. Wow, I have a product inside of me – fantastic!!! *Amazed Look* But, how do I get it out when I don’t know what it is? *Wonders* I have to think about this for a minute! *Thinks* Okay, all I have to do is invent a product that’s down-loadable!  No shipping = no duty or brokerage fees. <OMG, I’m Absolutely Brilliant, I Figured That One Out All By Myself.  *Laughs*> Now, I just need to locate the down-loadable product in me. *Nods Head* What if the product in me isn’t down-loadable? <What Am I Worried About I’m Blessed, Of Course The Product Is Going To Be Down-Loadable! *Burst Out Laughing At Self*>

Imagine my surprise when I discovered what my product was. *Astonished* It wasn’t actually inside of me, but something I owned and loved. *Grinning From Ear To Ear* My two babies – okay their cats, but their still my babies. *Hugs Cilantro & Tarragon* I’m on a roll now I have my product, which didn’t cost me one cent. *Cheers* Furthermore, its something the exchange rate, brokerage and duty fees, isn’t going to affect. *Smiles* I’ll do a series of e-books with my cats, but with a twist!  And I’ll use funny Morning Greetings as my hook to get people to buy my book.  <I’m Not Just Brilliant I’m The Most Intelligent Person On This Planet! *Laughs* Okay, A Little Overkill There, But It Helped My Positive Attitude. *Sniggers*>

Now I’m rocking, I have my down-loadable product on to the next step, designing my site. *Yippee* Piece of cake, this should take no time at all!  Hmm, why am I suddenly craving chocolate cake? <Be Right Back *Goes To Store Buys Chocolate Cake*> Um, what happened to my cake, didn’t I just buy one? *Looks Around* Never mind I found it. *Opens Box* They forgot to put the cake in it – no that can’t be right, there’s cake crumbs in the box. <Tarragon Did You Steal My Cake?  *Looks At Tarragon – Sees Reflection Of Face Covered In Chocolate In Mirror* Sorry For Blaming You Sweetie, But You Do Have A Reputation For Stealing My Stuff! *Nods Head* OMG, I Ate The Whole Cake. *Stifles Laugh*>

I quickly created my product, designed a website, and changed one of my corporations over to my new business. *Removes Credit Card From Vault* Uh, now I’m racking up more expenses I can’t afford, *Sighs* but when  opportunity knocks I open the door.  All right, I was leaping without a safety net, but honestly when you’re desperate you take chances you wouldn’t normally. <*Sings* The Best Things In Life Are Free, But You Can Give Them To The Birds & Bees, I Want Money…>

Unfortunately, what I never took into consideration was the expense involved getting traffic to my site, promoting and advertising my new endeavor. <If You Make It They Will Come. *Shakes Head* Wrong Philosophy!!! How Would They Know Where To Come? *Confused Expression On Face.*>

Unfortunately, things we’re not going very well with my tumor, the radiation wasn’t shrinking it, but it was affecting my vision and my emotions. *Wailing* I’m on an emotional roller-coaster ride of my life, one minute laughing – the next bawling my eyes out. *Wipes Tears From Eyes* I was beginning to think I was losing my sanity, how could I be happy one minute and suicidal the next? *Perplexed* Once my doctors told me what the problem was all I wanted was to finish my treatments and get my life back on track. <Easy To Say, Harder To Do When You Don’t Have Control Over It. *Sniffles*> Of course, I believed I could control it, but that was just an illusion one I wasn’t ready to give up on yet. <I Have An Amazing Ability To Block What I Can’t Deal With So I Opened The Little Door In My Mind Where I Stash What I Don’t Want Or Am Unable To Handle. *Opens Door In Head*> Oh no, I filled up my little room and there no space left. *Cries* The next thing I knew the door came tumbling down and everything I’d ever blocked came out. *Screams* OMG, I wasn’t prepared for that one instead of having one thing to deal with I was hit by an avalanche. *Get Shovel Starts Digging Self Out*

Now, when I do manage to get any sleep I wake up having heart palpitations. <It’s Very Considerate Of My Heart To Wake Me Up When I Finally Fall Asleep So I Know I’m Still Alive – NOT!!! *Muffles Laugh*> I was having one panic attack after another over something I had limited or no control over, <Uh, Did I Mention I Have Control Issues? *Laughs*> but I did develop a sleep disorder to add to my collection!!! *Smothers Laughter* I’d go for days not sleeping or being able to do anything and then I’d be back to normal. <All Right, I Should Say As Normal As I’ve Ever Been. *Giggles*>

After being on radiation and chemotherapy for 16 months, the tumor went into remission, finally. *Humongous Smile* Regrettably, that wasn’t the end of my health issues I had a new one to takes its place. <Always Nice To Have A Spare On Hand – You Never Know When You’re Going To Need It. *Muffles Laughter*> My weight dropped to 72 pounds, which sounds a lot worse then it actually is! *Nods Head* I’ve weighed 97 pounds and been 5’8” since I was 12. <Don’t Hate Me For Being Naturally Thin. *Begging* Believe Me It’s Not A Blessing! *Sobs*>

No matter how many calories I was taking in {9,000+ Calories A Day} I wasn’t gaining weight. *Cries* Then I started having a number of problems – fainting, loss of balance, constant joint pain, vision problems and I was exceptionally weak. <I Can’t Walk From One Room To Another Without Taking A Break Or Breaking A Bone!!! *Laughs At Self*>

I knew I looked bad, but I didn’t think I looked that bad until I went out to pick up some groceries. <The Store Is Half A Block From Where I Live! *Rolls Eyes*> I no sooner got outside and I was ready to faint. I leaned against a wall and slowly slid down, once I was down, I put my head between my legs waiting for the dizziness to stop. <By This Time I Knew The Signs & What To Do To Prevent Myself From Bouncing Off The Sidewalk! *Pats Self On Back*> Since I had a fresh fruit salad in my shopping bag I was stuffing pieces of fruit in my mouth, praying it would give me enough energy to get back home. That’s when I encountered the most embarrassing moment in my life. *Attempts To Hide* A woman stopped and asked me if she could buy me some groceries. I had two bags of groceries at my feet, one I was eating from, why would someone want to buy me groceries when I already had two bags full? *Bewildered* That’s when I finally clued in she didn’t know I had groceries in my bags she thought I was homeless. *Horrified Expression* I was mortified someone would mistake me for a homeless person; all I wanted to do was go home, hide and not come out until I looked human. *Locks Self In House*

It was really a blessing in disguise; I had to face the fact that there was no way I was going to gain the weight I needed without help. *Nods Head* Now, I spend 12 hours in the hospital every day or night connected to a Dialysis Machine, to remove all the toxins from my system that the radiation and chemotherapy put in. I’ve managed to gain 3 pounds, but still have another 22 to go. <Only Took Me 3 Weeks To Gain 3 Pounds. *Sniggers*> I know this is something I have no control over, which depresses me more than the time it’s taking me to gain weight. <I Admit, I Have Control Issues & Don’t Deal Well In Situations I Can’t Control, But Nevertheless I Still Try. *Nods Head* I Like Banging My Head Against A Brick Wall! *Giggles*> This was only hindering my progress, but no matter how hard I tried my mind refuses to accept that I can’t, which only makes things harder for me. *Sighs* Right now, I have a few good days, but mostly I’m incapable of doing anything, except think. I recognize that I’m my own worst enemy, but I can’t seem to do anything to change that. *Slaps Side Of Head* Knowing and doing just doesn’t seem to compute in my mind. *Rolls Eyes* In between panic attacks, I do what I could and pray everything will work out in the end. *On Knees Praying*

The only problem with that, I didn’t see any end in sight and I was terrified that before I did, the tumor was going to grow back and I’d be at square one or dead. *Trembles* Yeah, I’m living my life in a constant state of fear right now, but I’m a fighter and while I’ll never have the life I used to live back, I am determined to have a life. *Smiles & Nods Head* It may take awhile, but I know in the long run, everything is going to work out – the Power of Positive Thinking is a wonderful blessing to have. *Glowing* If I wasn’t a Positive Thinker, I would have given up a long time ago. It’s helped me in so many different areas of my life. <Yup, I Learned How To Turn A Negative Into A Positive!!! *Big Grin*> My life hasn’t always been easy, I’ve had a lot of problems to deal with that I have no control over. *Whimpers* But, by keeping a positive attitude, it’s allowed me to accept the different trauma’s I’ve experienced and made it easier on my friends. *Huge Smile*

Humor has always been my way of handling things, no matter how bad it was and I’ve been though some really bad times, humor and positive thinking have been extremely beneficial to me. *Nods Head* I discovered, if you can laugh at your situation others will laugh with you. *Giggles* If you want people’s pity and are constantly “Oh poor me, this happen & this happen & so on” people don’t want to be around you – you’re depressing them. *Tears Streaming Down Face* Everyone has their own problems and frankly it gets to you when all you get out of the friendship is their sob stories. *Walks Out & Slams Door*

The people in my life that all I get out of our friendship is sob stories, I’ve cut out. *Waves Bye* I have enough sob stories of my own, I don’t call them to cry on their shoulder! Even if I tried they wouldn’t listen, they’d cut me off and start telling me their problems. *Yells* Hey friend, I called you to have a friendly chat NOT to listen to how bad your life is!  You feel better now that’s great, but what about me? *Looks At Friend* Oh, my life is perfect? I don’t have any problems?  <Do We Know Each Other???  *Muffles Laugh*>

I was their emotional sponge I’m a good listener and I allowed them to take advantage of that.  Once, they vented their frustrations on me they felt better, but I didn’t.  When I realized I was getting nothing out of the “Friendship” except for making them feel better and adding additional stress to my life, I stopped answering the phone when they called! *Smiles Behind Hand* I love call display, set up a name & number in your contacts and you know who is calling even if they have an unlisted number! *Chuckles* What bothered me the most was after listening to their problems they were so trivial, I wouldn’t even consider them a problem. <Example: I Had An Argument With My Husband, My Baby’s Teething, My Son’s Baseball Team Lost, I Don’t Know What To Wear, *Yells* Clothes??? *Snickers*> Get a grip people these aren’t problems their part of life – get over it and move on!!! <At Times I Wanted To Take Their Heads And Bang Them Against A Wall. *Crazy Glues Hands Together*>

I finally reached my limit and decided to remove all their negativity from my life. <Took My Emotional Sponge And Put It Through The Wringer. *Waves Hand* Good Bye Negativity You’re On Your Own Now. *Nods Head* I Won’t Allow You To Interfere With My Positive Attitude Any Longer! *Stomps Foot*> When or if you can start to view the glass as half full instead of half empty, I’m more than willing to give you another chance. *Smiles* But, I refuse to put myself in a position that may change my positive outlook ever again.  I was fortunate to be blessed with a positive attitude and I believe in counting my blessings NOT abusing them. <*Kneels Down* Thank You God, For Bestowing On Me A Positive Attitude, Intelligence, A Happy Disposition, & All The Other Wonderful Qualities You Sanctified Me With. *Gigantic Smile*>

Things are rough right now, but I know their going to get better, I will gain control of my life back, it’s just going to take a little time and 22 pounds. *Stifles Laugh* In fact now, I believe I’m going to have a better life than I did before!!! <Um, Anyone Reading This, If You’re Into Stock Market Investments, Put Your Money Into Scotties Tissues – Their Business Is Thriving Thanks To Me. *Smirks*>

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